Worked on this all day yesterday and to no avail.
Followed up on every one of these fixes and they are all correct/have been run.
http://www.sharepointdiary.com/2012/02/sharepoint-alerts-not-working-troubleshooting-checklist.html
I got a telnet session to work as well but still, no alerts are being sent to users when something changes.
I poked holes in the firewall, set up a receive connector in exchange server as well.
In outbound email settings, I tried putting in the IP address and the server name (which both should work) but nothing happened.
Any suggestions anyone?